stir crazy & lazy.

i'm going to blame this on my dogs. honestly all they want to do is lay around, sleep & watch tv all day.

obviously the crazy part is really starting to shine through.  i'm so thankful for all this spare time but i find myself wasting it day after day.  i do a lot of cleaning, which i enjoy, i paint sometimes & read on a weekly basis but really. i know i'm supposed to be doing more.

i've been reading this book "Chazown" by craig groeschel & it's about finding out what God wants us to do with our lives.  i've been reading it waaaay too slowly & let too much time pass between chapters which makes it really hard to tie it all together.  surprisingly, with all that said, i have learned a lot about myself.  God gives all of us core values, spiritual gifts & past experiences to build the person that He wants us to be.  it's pretty exciting to see all of those things come together & see some of the ways i can truly make a difference in this world.

God has given lyman & i so many opportunities to really use what He's given us - lyman uses his gifts everyday in a job that he loves & still looks ahead at what he can do to make even more of an impact in this life. really, love this guy more every single day.  but me- i'm not doing anything.  i don't doubt that i have a lot to offer because of where i've been & the resources i have but i need to do something about it!

lyman & i talk all the time about how early older people get up & really it just makes so much sense that they would because they realize they have less days than they did the day before. whether that's their last or not, they know they have to do SOMETHING worthwhile.  as much as i think about that, i really wish i'd change my way of thinking because as cliche as this may sound, this could be my very last day.  & i'd be wasting it on my couch.

honestly, i could be looking too far into this, but i have a yearning in my heart for more & it's about time that i get excited about it!

i took a little tumble.

so let me just set this up for you.

playing frisbee in the dog park with my favorite person & my little dog

we're trying to see how many times we can throw it without it hitting the ground

i throw a little trick shot lymans way

he catches it - one

he throws a super trick shot my way

being the athlete that i am, i go after it full speed

i step off the sidewalk into a huge hole to my possible death

this is probably the saddest story you've heard in a while so i'll sum it up pretty quick

i cry a little because that fall was just so scary

i fake that my shoulder really hurts because i realize crying is kind of silly

i'm covered in dirt

lyman informs me some people saw me

& covered their mouth out of embarrassment for me

i thank him for that, start laughing & really can't stop for

a long time because i just keep picturing myself

falling, unexpectedly in a huge hole.

thankfully i'm okay.

this picture doesn't do that hole any justice

my right foot is on regular ground

but i sure do look like a good sport

dear journal

this is literally a letter addressed to my journal that i wrote in for the last time last night.


you have been so wonderful. when i first got you three years ago i was so in love with your design & color but then lymans dog chewed the corner of your cover & i thought about just throwing you away because, as you know, i'm a perfectionist.  but instead i decided you were too expensive for that & i kept you.  i wrote in you during all the different stages i've been in for the past three years.  lyman being in bootcamp, us crazily planning a secret marriage then deciding our families were just too great to trick like that, our wedding, moving away from home to "the big city" or as most would call it - virginia.  i told you about lyman wanting to be a rescue swimmer then lyman becoming a rescue swimmer in elizabeth city.  i used you to write some of my prayers that i didn't trust myself to stay awake during and for A LOT  of my complaints that i feel embarrassed to look back on because i'm seriously so ridiculous.  i told you about my family & how excited i was to move to savannah & be close to them.  i told you how much i hated savannah when we first got here, then how i slowly have fallen in love with it more with every day.  i've told you WAY too much & have already requested my best friend burn you when i die but i think that's for the best.  thank you for letting me be weird, happy, hurt & funny & keeping it all for me to remember. you're truly the best.


sincerely,
candice

JAMES 5

wow. what a crazy past couple of days! i've been dealing with so much & have been resisting God the whole way but during my quiet time this morning i genuinely read & understood Gods word.  He revealed so much to me about the way i've been acting & the steps i need to take to overcome these stressful times. PRAYER is so important.  i do a lot more time complaining or worrying than i do praying which is so sad.   i have really been struggling with direction lately.  i'm just not sure what i'm supposed to be doing.  should we start a family? should i go to school? should i look for a new job?  all of these questions have just hit me full force lately & i've been trying to figure it out on my own which has gotten & will get me nowhere.


my hearts desire is to have a baby & start building our little unit for God but things haven't gone exactly as planned (when do they ever?) so it's proved more difficult for us to do that.  we're in the process of talking with doctors and making sure everything is okay which is at least a start.  we're trusting Gods timing but also being good stewards of our health & making sure nothing is wrong.  second to having a family, i think i would really like teaching second or third grade.  i feel like it would be a lot of fun!  hanging out with kids all day & teaching them some of the most basic things that we use our whole lives!  the hours would correspond perfectly with lymans & of course the extra money wouldn't hurt.  then lastly, there's the idea of finding a higher paying job for the time being.  i know there's not much out there right now and i am thankful for the job i have but it is hard because i don't want to work nights & weekends so i only get a limited amount of hours a week.  it's no ones fault but mine, but if i worked somewhere that needed someone every weekday morning i'd have no problem doing that.  but in my quiet time this morning James was saying how unimportant money is.  i would really only be doing it so we could waste more.  i think that one should wait until we learn Gods way to manage our finances.


our first REAL doctors appointment is early next month so hopefully we'll get some answers then which will kinda determine what i can do next.  i have to continually go to God about this & not get in the way of the work He's trying to do in me.  so thankful for my growing relationship with Him & of course His faithfulness to His word.

sunrise to sunset.

today has really been such a great day. i started it out with spending

some time with God & as always i learned so much.  i spent a good

part of this morning praying for everyone that are so worked up by

amendment one in north carolina.  i prayed for those that were hurt by

the final decision & also for those who put Gods name on their judgement

& hurtful words.  it's sad to see both reactions.  my loved ones all know

my feelings about the vote so theres no need to share it on here & get

everyone fired up & potentially hurt people with what's only my opinion.

God gave me a peace about it in my heart & that's really all i can ask for.

tonight we went to our final leadership meeting for younglife.  it was at this

beautiful house right on the water which made for an amazing sunset.  it's

always fun to get together with a group of people that are working together

for God's glory & just have some fun.  we had low country boil which, being

from the south, i should have known what it was but i was pleasantly surprised

with shrimp, sausage, corn & potatoes all cooked perfectly & SO delicious.

as always, it was fun to be around all the other leaders & just have a good time.

God has given me so much already while we've been in savannah & is

constantly reminding me of all that i have to be grateful for & now, low country

boil is one of those things.

blog blocking.

lyman is a complete blog blocker. i thought he'd be occupied with his new foam golf balls & ball returnerputterthing (obviously i'm really familiar with this item) but instead he just talks & talks & talks.  he did just hit a pretty impressive shot from our bedroom into the guest bathroom toilet so he definitely had something to talk about.


last night lym was on duty so i was home alone with my sweet dog ellie & before we went to bed i took her outside like i always do, but to my surprise i came face to face with an armadillo. i yelled a bunch of different sounds & he ran off into the bushes but i was so nervous about him the whole time - like he was going to sneak up on me & bite my ankles.  i was creeped out to say the least. coming inside was really no rescue because the mouse, unfortunately, is still here. he knows i'm afraid of him so when it's just me i swear he pulls all kinds of shenanigans just to scare me. i'd be fine if i never saw him or the armadillo again.


on a lighter, much more important note, today is my beautiful moms birthday. she is such a lovely, strong, funny, smart, compassionate woman of God &  i'm am truly thankful for her & everything that she does for me. i wish i could see her but it's still so nice just to be able to call her & have a good long talk with her first thing in the morning.  God has really been teaching me so much over the past few years about being grateful for family & friends. i can't imagine what life would be like without the love i have for those close to me, especially my wonderful mom.

did i say it was a pretty day?

because it's not. it keeps going back & forth between kinda sunny & super cloudy but the weather channel says its supposed to be storming right now? so looks like i'm going to be getting everything done inside today.

we recently found a mouse in our apartment so i'm afraid to even walk around in here. apparently mice are more common here because they come in from the heat through the openings around pipes & such.  i've learned that i am absolutely TERRIFIED of mice. the first day i found him (the mouse) i called lyman at work & begged him to come home & take care of it but of course he couldn't.  the maintenance man for our apartments came in & wrestled with him in the closet for like twenty minutes but ended up losing him so now the little guys just hanging out in here. we're moving in a little less than two months so i guess we'll just live with him until then because theres no way i can catch him. he's lightning fast & i'm scared to death.

i need to start going through all the stuff in our spare room so we don't move with a bunch of stuff that we need to get rid of. i also want to paint my mom a mothers day/birthday card & finish the hunger games. i know, i'm SO far behind the rest of the world. i think my to-do list is totally doable.

we're alive, we are loved & we're worth it.

hey! i'm candice & while i'm excited about my first blog i'm really hoping that my daily life has enough to offer this little thing!  i guess i'll start by introducing my sweet little family.

this is lyman - really the greatest person i've ever met.

he's a rescue swimmer in the coast guard & works so hard

for our family. truly my best friend.

this is ellie. sometimes i squeeze her too hard because

i can't believe how cute she is!

& this is me!

i look forward to sharing my day to day life & all that i learn along the way.

today is WAY too pretty of a day to waste inside so i'm going

to go enjoy the heat before it gets too hot to enjoy.