JAMES 5

wow. what a crazy past couple of days! i've been dealing with so much & have been resisting God the whole way but during my quiet time this morning i genuinely read & understood Gods word.  He revealed so much to me about the way i've been acting & the steps i need to take to overcome these stressful times. PRAYER is so important.  i do a lot more time complaining or worrying than i do praying which is so sad.   i have really been struggling with direction lately.  i'm just not sure what i'm supposed to be doing.  should we start a family? should i go to school? should i look for a new job?  all of these questions have just hit me full force lately & i've been trying to figure it out on my own which has gotten & will get me nowhere.


my hearts desire is to have a baby & start building our little unit for God but things haven't gone exactly as planned (when do they ever?) so it's proved more difficult for us to do that.  we're in the process of talking with doctors and making sure everything is okay which is at least a start.  we're trusting Gods timing but also being good stewards of our health & making sure nothing is wrong.  second to having a family, i think i would really like teaching second or third grade.  i feel like it would be a lot of fun!  hanging out with kids all day & teaching them some of the most basic things that we use our whole lives!  the hours would correspond perfectly with lymans & of course the extra money wouldn't hurt.  then lastly, there's the idea of finding a higher paying job for the time being.  i know there's not much out there right now and i am thankful for the job i have but it is hard because i don't want to work nights & weekends so i only get a limited amount of hours a week.  it's no ones fault but mine, but if i worked somewhere that needed someone every weekday morning i'd have no problem doing that.  but in my quiet time this morning James was saying how unimportant money is.  i would really only be doing it so we could waste more.  i think that one should wait until we learn Gods way to manage our finances.


our first REAL doctors appointment is early next month so hopefully we'll get some answers then which will kinda determine what i can do next.  i have to continually go to God about this & not get in the way of the work He's trying to do in me.  so thankful for my growing relationship with Him & of course His faithfulness to His word.