the first seconds of real life.

Every mother I know had told me that having a child was like nothing else in this world.  I had heard many labor stories filled with indescribable pain and joy.  Two things I had never experienced together.

I decided pretty early on that I wanted to have a natural birth.  I knew from other birth stories that I couldn't know how labor was going to go, but I did know that I wanted to try natural and leave my options open.

I had an increased risk of a c-section because of the way Em's head was positioned and how high she was in my belly.  My doctor and I both stayed positive about this and he encouraged me to continue with my plans for a natural birth.  I didn't draw up a long extensive birth plan.  I just wanted to trust & listen to my body during labor.

Emma sat so high that I could barely breathe.
She would twist her little body and warp my belly.
This was the day before I went into labor.

On June 9th, after church, Lym and I took a good long nap.  I woke up having what I thought were Braxton Hicks contractions.  I had been having them a lot lately and these didn't feel any different.  After a few consistent contractions I decided to time them.  They were pretty spread out and about 10 minutes or so apart.  I got up and walked around since that always put a stop to my Braxton Hicks.  When they didn't stop and had become a little more intense I decided to time them again.  They had become about 6 minutes apart consistently.  Replaying this, it's very obvious to me that I was in labor but at the time I was in complete denial.  Completely unable to comprehend that I could be having my baby that night.

I called the hospital and they recommended that I come in to be checked.  I was NOT looking forward to that, sure that I wasn't dilated, and I knew that I didn't want to spend my entire labor in the hospital.  My water hadn't even broken yet and my plan was to complete most of my labor at home.  We waited about an hour before leaving, packed the car just in case and headed out to the hospital.

I was contracting pretty consistently the whole way there but the pain wasn't unbearable by any means.  It was more uncomfortable than anything.  We even stopped at Mcdonalds for a quick snack before going to the hospital.  We had called our moms just to let them know I was going to be checked but assured them that it was nothing and that we'd keep them posted.

SIX CENTIMETERS DILATED.

That's over halfway there!  Needless to say, our moms went CRAZY and left NC immediately while I got settled into labor and delivery.  This was at around 9:30pm.

This was actually happening!

Labor and delivery. Very comfortable!

Labor progressed pretty quickly and the nurses smiled as they lied to me, telling me that I had made it through the worst part at home.  I'm glad they lied because honestly, it kept me positive and motivated.

At around midnight I decided to have my water broken.  This is the only thing I would have changed in my labor story.  I think that through each birth we learn new things, especially the first.  I had progressed to 8cm and was growing impatient more than anything.  After my water was broken the pain was SO intense.  It felt like what I had imagined labor being like.

My nurse was very supportive of my decision to have a natural birth so she brought in a ball for me to sit on and encouraged me to walk around which was great.  Ultimately, I was most comfortable in the bed just working through each contraction.  These next several hours brought Lyman and I so incredibly close as he stood by my side.  We had a few discussions of things that I DIDN'T want during labor (touching my head, calling me champ) but we hadn't really discussed what I wanted him to do.

HE WAS AWESOME.  I really can't describe it.  Every single contraction he was holding my hand, encouraging me.  It was a beautiful thing.

For the most part, it was just me and him in the delivery room.  When I started to feel the urge to push, my nurse came in and made sure I was pushing correctly, checked my dilation and left.  I could feel Emma moving down slowly which was the most amazing feeling, despite the tremendous amount of pain.  About an hour into pushing, our moms arrived at the hospital.  I pushed for two more hours before I could literally feel her stop moving down in my belly.  My OB came in to check me and I had made it to 10cm.  I was so excited and in SO much pain at the same time.  He could see that she was face up or sunny side up as he called it, and I knew that I was going to have to have a c-section.

This didn't break my heart.  I knew I had worked SO hard and that my natural labor wasn't for nothing.  Emma had no drugs in her system and that was enough for me.  I had done EVERYTHING that I could do, so I trusted my doctor.  The fifteen minutes that it took for me to be brought to the operating room and for the anesthesiologist to get my spinal block ready was by far the longest part of my labor.

When the pain was FOR something, I could handle it.  The energy flowing through my body to naturally birth my baby was enough to keep me going.  But when that was no longer an option I became VERY ready for the medicine.

The procedure felt like it took maybe ten minutes.

And then I heard her.

I couldn't see her, but I heard her.

The most beautiful sound I had ever heard was her first cry and I INSTANTLY fell in love.

JUNE 10 6:15AM 7LBS 14OZ

My little girl was finally in my arms.
I will never forget that first kiss.

Seeing him love her is my favorite thing ever.

Even over seeing this chocolate cupcake.

 ALL of that, for this.

I would do it a million times over.